What Cancer Can't Do

"For what is it to die, but to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"
Kahlil Gibran

Living With Hope

I was first diagnosed with cancer in March of 1991. The doctors agreed that even with surgery and the fifty-two chemotherapy treatments i underwent, i had roughly a ten percent chance of survival, but only for a year or so. I read all the literature, educated myself on diet and lifestyle, and bought a copy of 'Final Exit' just in case. But then.... I thought about my life, and death, a lot.... and decided the old saying i'd heard was true: it's not how you die, but rather how you live that counts. And i was determined to live as well as i could for as long as i could. In spite of more tumors, more surgeries, i count my blessings every day, for i love and am loved in return. In the time i've had which reason said i shouldn't, i have watched my children grow stronger, witnessed new life born to my family, and met the one to whom i am now wed. I believe with all my heart that the key to my struggle was attitude. My time remaining is a mystery as i realize i've been running on empty for over a decade; but for now, i enjoy the grace and wonder that is each flower, each child, each sunset, and each kindness received. Faced with my own mortality, i finally learned how to live.

Hold me in your heart, that i might live forever.
Anne Mathewson, 2001

What Cancer Cannot Do

Cancer is so limited...
It cannot cripple Love
It cannot shatter Hope
It cannot corrode Faith
It cannot destroy Peace
It cannot kill Friendship
It cannot suppress Memories
It cannot silence Courage
It cannot invade the Soul
It cannot steal Eternal Life
It cannot conquer the Spirit
-author unknown

Love Me Now

If you are ever going to love me,
love me now while i can know
the sweet and tender feelings
that from true affection flow.

Love me now while I am living,
do not wait until i'm gone;
And then have it chiseled in marble,
sweet words on ice-cold stone.

If you have tender thoughts of me,
please tell me now.
If you wait until I am sleeping,
never to awaken,
there will be death between us,
and I won't hear you then.

So if you love me,
even a little bit,
let me know while I am living,
so I can treasure it.
-Robert Paul Moreno 1/16/70 - 2/27/87

Today

I may never see tomorrow; there's no written guarantee.
And things that happened yesterday belong to history.
I cannot predict the future, I cannot change the past,
I have just the present moments, I must treat them as my last.

I must use this moment wisely for it soon will pass away,
and be lost forever, as part of yesterday.
I must exercise compassion, help the fallen to their feet,
Be a friend unto the friendless, make an empty life complete.

The unkind things I do today may never be undone,
And friendships that I fail to win may nevermore be won.
I may not have another chance, on bended knees to pray,
and I thank God with a humble heart for giving me this Day.
-unknown

If I Had My Life To Live Over

I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the "good" living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."
There would have been more "I love yous"... more "I'm sorrys"... but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it...live it...and never give it back.
-Erma Bombeck

Dreams

Somewhere up beyond the sky,
That blanket dark that floats up high,
Beyond the places we can see,
I know that there's a place for me.

Where no one hates or kills or cries,
Where Saturn spins and magic flies,
Where i can be a child again
And dream the things that i did then.
-Thundercloud

Miscellany

This page is dedicated to my amazing family, my loving husband Mark, and my dear, dear friends. You are all always there with love, strength, and humor. May God's light shine upon you always.

Anti-Cancer Toolbox
attitude
caring support
hope
awareness
self-exams
regular checkups

from Fishbucket http://www.fishbucket.net/hope.php