Work Beliefs of Teenagers

I was working in the front yard patching the lawn with a layer of topsoil, grass seed and peat moss. I had rousted my 17-year old son, to work with me. He complied reluctantly.
Neighbors gathered on the street and I heard of one 20 year old who grew up in the neighborhood that had attempted suicide last week after turning away from friends using drugs, three weeks off work, loneliness, an early morning drunken single car crash and 2 bottles of sleeping pills. Another 19 year old neighbor boy who has struggled with depression, Christianity vs. parties, quit his job without another to replace it, boredom, no work around the house, ready to go off to a $20,000 a year college education.

My son was back inside playing video soccer and stopped working because I wasn't there. We talked and he shared that he thinks about "what do I get from this?" and "I don't care about materialism." and "The yard isn't about me." These comments were so similar to what I had heard from our neighbors and I realized that none of these boys were outside working in their yards when they were teenagers. Their fathers were.

Kevin wanted to stop the conversation because he knew that nothing good could come of it for him. I started thinking about the formula that we used for my oldest son's college education: 100% for a 4.0, 70% for 3.0, 50% for 2.0. 0% for 1.9 and how that seemed to make real the cost of an education. Kevin had let his studies go during this junior year and didn't realized that these grades were used by colleges to determine his eligibility. His mother made summer church waterski camp contingent on passing chemistry which is when he made the final sprint to the finish to pass the class with a D, but not good enough for a Good Student Insurance Rate. His clothes are all over the bedroom floor because that is good enough for him. He will do the work, the minimum when asked...specifically...several times but never on his own.

What are we doing to our boys? Are we preparing them to be independent? Obviously not in our suburban neighborhood.

So what is the formula that sets a reasonable amount of work. Premise: I am more interested in work ethic than getting housework. Kevin starts a new job at Jamba Juice early July. So the formula would equal cost of living = Jamba Juice Work + House/Yard Work + Community Service. (Kevin also needs to start picking up a percentage of insurance, Wakefest...)

So what is Cost of Living? (worksheet)

Bedroom 100 sq. feet (.85 a sq. ft) = $85 = 9 hours
Living Space 1600/4= 400 sq ft. - 100 sq. ft =300 sq. ft. =$255 = 26 hours
Heat= $20 avg. = 2 hours
Electricity= $20 avg. = 2 hours
Cable/Tivo/Internet= $20 avg. = 2 hours
Tutor $160 = 16 hours
Church Mission Trips
Waterski Camps = $375 = 38 hours
Truck (value $5000) = 500 hours...that is over 12 weeks full time work
Insurance $100 month = 10 hours
Food $100 = 10 hours
Health Insurance = $100 10 hours
Utilities = $20 = 2 hours
College (next year) $1000 month = 100 hours month

This is very rough and I am not considering Mission, truck, college. My first take is 89 hours a month, 22.5 hours a week, 3.2 hours daily to balance what Kevin uses.

Another friend talked about a son who shared the same philosophy of non-support and they striped his bedroom of everything except for dirty jeans, unwear, shirt and shoes and a matress while he was in the shower. He didn't have the right to the family dinner and lived in his room...no vehicle. By evening he started to understand what he had.

It comes down to gatitude and thankfulness. If we give everything to our children, especially our teenagers who are so close to adulthood then should we be surprised when their core value is selfishness. If we purchase the food, do the shopping, cook the meals, ask them to set the table which they do reluctantly and then do the dishes, what is the lesson. Are we preparing them to do the work for their children like we have done for them ?