Pet Names: Advice Column

Hey stud, her name ain't "Sweetheart"

By Carol Kleiman

Syndicated columnist

Dear Coach: A man in my office addresses me and other female co-workers as "Sweetheart", "Hon" or "Darling".

I am offended by this; it makes me very uncomfortable.

I don't want to make a fuss or file a complaint, but I don't know what to do.

Am I overreacting?

Carol Kleiman: You are not overreacting.

It can be demeaning, even if it's meant to be kind.

At worst, it's a power trip that tries to put you in your place.

But if you think the man is unaware of what he's doing, invite him to lunch as your guest and tell him, gently, that being addressed that way offends you and constantly raises the issue of gender.

If you think he knows what he's doing, no lunch.

Take him aside in the office, explain it's offensive and ask him to stop immediately.